Mentor to women who wish to take the lead in the relationship they have with their mothers.
the work that breaks cycles
"But how do I love myself and meet myself with compassion?" she asked.
"It's already done," I replied. "The part of you that loves you is the part that's asking how."
"But I still feel shaky and unsure," she said. "I still feel shame."
"Do you want to be mean to yourself because you feel shaky and unsure and ashamed?" I asked.
"No."
"See...there's the magic...the love: it's not about never feeling bad or uncomfortable or shaky or unsure or ashamed. It's about catching yourself before you're mean to yourself...and in the moments, or hours, or days when you feel that way, your only assignment is to love the self that doesn't love herself...until you can love yourself again."
This is shame resilience.
This is some of the most important work we can do.
Because it's this work that frees us. It's the work that breaks cycles.
It's why I am offering Possession of Worthiness: A Shame-Resilience Workshop.
Starting in infancy, girls and women are socialized to believe there’s something wrong with them and to feel shame.
These shaming messages often come from our mothers. Not because our mothers bad people…but rather because they learned that shaming can be “protective” – a way to remain safe and connected to resources in a culture that #1 doesn’t value women equally and #2 punishes women when they don’t conform to “norms” of said culture.
It also keeps us small. And powerless. And unable to create resources.
We are learning a different way.
And sometimes it feels unsafe because we don’t just undo thousands of years of oppression and conditioning that tells us we’re not okay.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” doesn’t cut it in the long run.
The Possession of Worthiness: A Shame-Resilience Workshop is an opportunity to examine, with love and care and safety, where we’ve internalized that conditioning, who we’ve passed it along to, and what it looks like when we’re no longer basing our relationships on it or living from it in an unconscious way.
For the past 10+ years I’ve been actively working with my own shame and have learned a lot about how to live with it in a healthy way. I have developed a set of tools and a process that I use personally, as well as with my 1:1 clients.
I am offering Possession of Worthiness: A Shame-Resilience Workshop on Saturday, August 6, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Eastern (click here for a time-zone converter). This workshop will be available via Zoom and the price is $125. It will NOT be recorded.
During this workshop we will:
- Learn about the nervous system and some simple body-based practices so we can take care of ourselves
- Explore the impact of patriarchy on mother-daughter relationships
- Identify some of the specific shame-based beliefs you have about yourself
- Learn a simple-yet-powerful and tangible way to relate to those shame-based beliefs in a new way
- Create a solid, repeatable foundation for remembering who you really are
Much, much love,
Karen
Karen C.L. Anderson
Mentor to women who wish to take the lead in the relationship they have with their mothers.
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