Some thoughts about Jesus and healing (from a heathen a couple of days after Easter)...

I had an appointment yesterday morning with a "helping professional" whom I found through a website/app that connects clients to professionals in a particular field.

I had a specific reason for seeking out this help and on the intake form I was very clear about the kind of help I was looking for and what I wanted to know, as well as about what I already know and have experienced in regards to this issue.

Forty-five minutes into the 55-minute call it was clear I wasn't going to get what I came for. She gave me advice and "tools" I didn't need nor ask for.

I don't doubt her knowledge and expertise...but it was apparent she was following a script that seemed to assume anyone who signs up for this service knows nothing (not to mention, the company wants to sign people up for longer term support, which is fine when we need longer term support, but in this instance, I don't).

I was thinking about this when I remembered an opinion piece in the New York Times several years ago written by Cyndi Jones, who at the time was a minister awaiting call in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.

Entitled "What It Really Means to Heal," Jones wrote about her experience as someone with a disability she's had since early childhood, and about some of the stories of healing in the New Testament, including Bartimaeus.

"This happened to Bartimaeus, who was blind and sitting by the roadside begging. When he called out to Jesus, those around him told him to shut up and sit down, stay in your place. But Jesus called him to come near.

When he approached, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

Jesus did not assume that Bartimaeus’s lack of physical vision was the most important thing that needed to be restored.

In fact, the first healing for Bartimaeus was regaining his agency, being asked what he wanted and answering for himself. His dignity was restored, and then his vision."

~~~

I am not a healer, but I do facilitate healing.

Unlike Jesus...

...sometimes I think I know better than my client.

...sometimes I like to show off my knowledge.

...sometimes I like to tell people what to do.

I check myself often. I ask you what YOU want and let you answer for yourself. If you're not sure, I can help you figure it out. I meet you where you are.

Because if there's one thing my clients want, it's their dignity restored, and then the vision they have for their lives.

Much, much love,

Karen

P.S. You already know you have a complex relationship with your mother. You've read the books and gotten the therapy. You know the impacts of narcissistic abuse first hand (which often includes feeling like you don't know who you are or what you want because your mother decided that for you). Maybe regrets, confusion, guilt, and shame linger. Maybe you're navigating how to remain in contact with your dignity (and boundaries) intact.

Helping adult daughters navigate complex relationships with mothers (narcissistic or not) so they can have the lives THEY want is my jam.