"Should I tell my mother that her words and behavior are hurtful to me? How should I approach it?" [It can be a relief to know this...it can also be something to grieve] There is no magic formula that will, if you get it juuuuuust right, make her respond the way you want her to: safely...with curiosity for herself and for you. In other words, with emotional maturity. Much, much love. Karen Want some help with this?
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Mentor to women who wish to take the lead in the relationship they have with their mothers.
Book recommendation: Big as the Whole Wide World: Finding Peace Beyond My Karmic Family Ties by Sherle Stevens helped me understand my mother in a way that she hasn't or won't be able to show me. A big part of this memoir is the estrangement the author experienced with her adult daughter. "I'd always given up my power to everyone, not just to the men I married. To anyone I hope would loved me. Especially my child." ~~~ You know the saying "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy"? Here's why...
This morning I found out that I don't have breast cancer. I had been waiting for the news since August 28, which is when I had two stereotactic core needle biopsies on my right breast (two separate locations). As the days turned into more than a week of waiting for the news and the potential to have to wait through another weekend, I found myself in a weird dichotomy where two seemingly incompatible things were true at the same time. #1 My life is pretty damned amazing right now. #2 I might...
[Pre-S: Tomorrow, September 7, is the last day to register for Shame School] "...I've been struggling with my decision to remain no contact with my mom because I was partly using your continued contact with your mom against myself." "You had it so much worse than I..." "I just learned how to stop taking her words so personally and then I was able to have a relationship with her." "I am completely estranged from my mother and I am at peace...no guilt." These are things said to me, by adult...