Mentor to women who wish to take the lead in the relationship they have with their mothers.
raise your hand if...
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Raise your hand if you've ever tried to mindset-shift or thought-work your way out of a problem. Raise your hand if you've ever tried to manifest or vision-board the perfect body, job, partner, money. Raise your hand if you've ever tried to positive-affirmation yourself into "your best life." Raise your hand if it didn't work. Raise your hand if you experienced shame ("there must be something wrong with me") as a result. Raising my hand! When you have internalized shame it's nearly impossible to change "negative" thoughts to "positive" thoughts – and actually believe them. It's like trying to build a home on quicksand or a fault line. The ground beneath you isn't safe and supportive and it sets you up for more shame ("there's something wrong with me that I can't change my thoughts and have the life/job/partner/body I want"). It's much more effective to put the responsibility for our shame-based "limiting beliefs" (don't get me started on that phrase) where it belongs: on the culture we live in, which pre-installed our shame-based identities, and which now thrives on us being ashamed of ourselves. In other words, it's not a "you" problem...it's never been a "you" problem. In Shame School we build intentional identities on safe, supportive ground with healthy boundaries for protection. Shame School opens up a whole new world of possibility in regards to mindset. Shame School starts on Tuesday, September 10 (less than one week)! If you've been considering signing up, keep in mind that registration closes this coming Saturday, September 7, at midnight. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Mentor to women who wish to take the lead in the relationship they have with their mothers.
"Should I tell my mother that her words and behavior are hurtful to me? How should I approach it?"Dear Adult Daughter...I will never forget a conversation I had 15-ish years ago with my father-in-law, who died in 2015. He was a soft-spoken, unassuming, and very wise Lutheran pastor originally from Canada.I was telling him about the difficult relationship I had with my mother and what I might do to make it better.He listened patiently and replied – quietly, simply, and with a cadence and lilt...
This morning I found out that I don't have breast cancer. I had been waiting for the news since August 28, which is when I had two stereotactic core needle biopsies on my right breast (two separate locations). As the days turned into more than a week of waiting for the news and the potential to have to wait through another weekend, I found myself in a weird dichotomy where two seemingly incompatible things were true at the same time. #1 My life is pretty damned amazing right now. #2 I might...
[Pre-S: Tomorrow, September 7, is the last day to register for Shame School] "...I've been struggling with my decision to remain no contact with my mom because I was partly using your continued contact with your mom against myself." "You had it so much worse than I..." "I just learned how to stop taking her words so personally and then I was able to have a relationship with her." "I am completely estranged from my mother and I am at peace...no guilt." These are things said to me, by adult...